Greetings, all. As a result of trying to put into practice what I discussed in my last post, I've decided to take a declared break in writing this blog. I don't know for how long, but it needs to be on the back burner for a while so I can focus on higher priorities.
Thanks to everyone who's actually read this and I hope to be back sometime.
One parting thought...remember that when seeking the positive, all good things come from God. (See Moroni 7:5-6, 12-14, 16.) So, if you need to find the good in any situation, look to God and ask Him and you'll find out.
Until next time...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Forget Yourself and Go to Work
There's a story told frequently about the 15th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Gordon B. Hinckley. When he was a young man, he went to serve as a missionary in England. While he was there, he was discouraged and felt that he wasn't doing very well in the work and thought he should come home. He wrote of his concerns to his father. President Hinckley then received a letter back and his father replied, "Forget yourself and go to work." President Hinckley took his advice and was very successful in his work throughout his life.
I remembered this story recently as I've been trying to figure out how to do everything I want and need to do. I've been focusing on how to meet my needs, like a regular sleep schedule and exercise time, so I can feel more energetic and help my family with what they need. I haven't been very successful and that has been discouraging. After thinking about it, I've decided that I might be tackling this problem in the wrong way.
Another quote comes to mind from Dieter F. Uchtdorf, current second counselor in the First Presidency of the LDS Church. He said, "As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness...In today’s world of pop psychology, junk TV, and feel-good self-help manuals, this advice may seem counterintuitive. We are sometimes told that the answer to our ills is to look inward, to indulge ourselves, to spend first and pay later, and to satisfy our own desires even at the expense of those around us. While there are times when it is prudent to look first to our own needs, in the long run it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness."
(Happiness, Your Heritage, General Relief Society Meeting, September 2008)
I know from experience that when I help others, I forget about my own troubles and challenges and I feel better in general. So, I'm going to try to focusing more on my family's needs first and then see if by doing that, I'll meet my own needs, too. I may or may not let you know how it goes. We'll see.
I remembered this story recently as I've been trying to figure out how to do everything I want and need to do. I've been focusing on how to meet my needs, like a regular sleep schedule and exercise time, so I can feel more energetic and help my family with what they need. I haven't been very successful and that has been discouraging. After thinking about it, I've decided that I might be tackling this problem in the wrong way.
Another quote comes to mind from Dieter F. Uchtdorf, current second counselor in the First Presidency of the LDS Church. He said, "As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness...In today’s world of pop psychology, junk TV, and feel-good self-help manuals, this advice may seem counterintuitive. We are sometimes told that the answer to our ills is to look inward, to indulge ourselves, to spend first and pay later, and to satisfy our own desires even at the expense of those around us. While there are times when it is prudent to look first to our own needs, in the long run it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness."
(Happiness, Your Heritage, General Relief Society Meeting, September 2008)
I know from experience that when I help others, I forget about my own troubles and challenges and I feel better in general. So, I'm going to try to focusing more on my family's needs first and then see if by doing that, I'll meet my own needs, too. I may or may not let you know how it goes. We'll see.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Minor Annoyances
It's technically still fall since it's before December 21st, but it's really winter. The weather is cold and dry with occasional snow, depending on the year. It seems that the colder it gets, the drier it gets and that really affects my skin, especially my hands. I remember my first winter here, eons ago, as a freshman in college. I'd moved from a slightly more humid, but not much more, place and by the middle of winter, my hands were very dry and cracked. I have a picture of myself sitting on my bed studying with socks on my hands to keep the lotion from coming off them.
Over the years, I thought I had gotten used to the weather because my hands were never quite so bad until the reaction of my hands changed. It used to be an overall dryness. Now the dryness centers on my fingers, especially my thumb and first two fingers on both hands. If I'm not careful, I get deep cracks near the tips by the nail or on the joints. It hurts, especially since I use them a lot. Once the cracks form, it takes a long time to heal and then I remember how to better prevent them from happening and it slowly gets better.
So what's my point? Well, I wanted to see if I could seek the positive in this situation because my fingers hurt and itch right now. :)
So, here we go. I'm grateful my condition is relatively controllable and that I have a way to make my apartment more humid and rubber gloves to wear when I work in water. I'm glad it's just my fingers and not anywhere else. I'm grateful that it's only harder to control in the winter instead of all year round.
Well, I think that made me feel a little better. I think we all have minor (or maybe not so minor) annoyances that we each have to deal with in one way or another. We can choose to gripe and complain and make excuses for it or we can just understand it, deal with it, and work around or through it as best we can. I think the first way can make these annoyances worse because we stay focused on it. However, the second way allows us to do what we really want and hopefully minimizes the effects of our annoyances because we aren't focused on the problem anymore. May all the effects of all our minor annoyances be minimized.
Over the years, I thought I had gotten used to the weather because my hands were never quite so bad until the reaction of my hands changed. It used to be an overall dryness. Now the dryness centers on my fingers, especially my thumb and first two fingers on both hands. If I'm not careful, I get deep cracks near the tips by the nail or on the joints. It hurts, especially since I use them a lot. Once the cracks form, it takes a long time to heal and then I remember how to better prevent them from happening and it slowly gets better.
So what's my point? Well, I wanted to see if I could seek the positive in this situation because my fingers hurt and itch right now. :)
So, here we go. I'm grateful my condition is relatively controllable and that I have a way to make my apartment more humid and rubber gloves to wear when I work in water. I'm glad it's just my fingers and not anywhere else. I'm grateful that it's only harder to control in the winter instead of all year round.
Well, I think that made me feel a little better. I think we all have minor (or maybe not so minor) annoyances that we each have to deal with in one way or another. We can choose to gripe and complain and make excuses for it or we can just understand it, deal with it, and work around or through it as best we can. I think the first way can make these annoyances worse because we stay focused on it. However, the second way allows us to do what we really want and hopefully minimizes the effects of our annoyances because we aren't focused on the problem anymore. May all the effects of all our minor annoyances be minimized.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Giving Thanks In All Things
Since today is Thanksgiving in the United States when we take time to think about what we are grateful for and since it's also one great way to seek the positive, I'm going to make a list of some of the things I am grateful for. I thought I'd do it a little differently because it usually seems that the same things are mentioned, God, family, country, home, food, shelter, freedom, friends, etc., and I thought I would try and look beyond that and see what I could come up with.
Enjoy.
Things I am thankful for:
Happy Thanksgiving!
Enjoy.
Things I am thankful for:
- my Pocket PC, because it's small, compact, and holds all the things I need to remember plus I can read books on it, check my e-mail and the Internet, let my children use the drawing program to help them be quiet at church, and play mp3s to listen to books and talks while I work.
- hot, running water from the tap.
- my education and the desire and ability to continue learning.
- my gas stove. (I really will miss it when I have to go back to electric burners one day.)
- cinder block walls because I can use those 3M hooks and not worry about them ripping the drywall.
- 3M hooks, so I can decorate my apartment better.
- my city library. It has such a good collection and it's nice to be able to read many of the books I want while living on a student budget.
- electricity.
- Jesus Christ. (Yes, I know I said that I was trying to think of less common things to be thankful for, but I saw His picture on the wall and my life wouldn't be what it is without Him, so there. ;) )
- microwaves.
- Google Reader because I can keep up on my sites and not use a lot of time.
- my husband having his thesis defense scheduled in less than two weeks.
- lower gas prices.
- a living room without a TV in it.
- washing machines and dryers because they save a lot of time.
- refrigerators and freezers.
- Google Maps because it helps me find places.
- staplers and paper clips because they keep my papers together.
- scissors.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Life As It Happened In the Last Month
I thought I'd update this since it's been a month since I've posted anything. We've had minor sicknesses in the last month which weren't serious, but take time from lesser pursuits like blogging. It's not like I forgot about it, though. I started at least a couple of new posts but was too tired to finish them.
I was also caught up in the election or trying not to be. In my personal efforts to stay positive in the ten days before Election Day, I limited my news media reading to one daily news e-mail subscription. I'm learning (very slowly, it seems) that we all have things that can take away our peace, and one of those things for me is the news. All the arguing, fault-finding, and negativity are so interesting to read, but it makes me disagreeable, to say the least, and that bothers me. I have so many more important things to do, but I allow myself to get sucked in. I've had some ideas tonight on how to resolve this for myself, so maybe I'll write about it when I get it figured out. :)
Another distraction, I suppose, is that my husband has been spending many a late night recently to finish his master's thesis. The exciting thing is that he should be finished, excepting perhaps his defense, by the end of the month. Then he can focus solely on his dissertation topic. Happy day!
So, stay tuned, my friends. We'll see how this month goes, with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up...hmm, like I said, we'll see. :)
I was also caught up in the election or trying not to be. In my personal efforts to stay positive in the ten days before Election Day, I limited my news media reading to one daily news e-mail subscription. I'm learning (very slowly, it seems) that we all have things that can take away our peace, and one of those things for me is the news. All the arguing, fault-finding, and negativity are so interesting to read, but it makes me disagreeable, to say the least, and that bothers me. I have so many more important things to do, but I allow myself to get sucked in. I've had some ideas tonight on how to resolve this for myself, so maybe I'll write about it when I get it figured out. :)
Another distraction, I suppose, is that my husband has been spending many a late night recently to finish his master's thesis. The exciting thing is that he should be finished, excepting perhaps his defense, by the end of the month. Then he can focus solely on his dissertation topic. Happy day!
So, stay tuned, my friends. We'll see how this month goes, with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up...hmm, like I said, we'll see. :)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
It's All About ME
I recently took Little E to the doctor for a checkup. My plan was simple. Go to the doctor, get her weighed, measured, and checked out, then drive to the county health department to get her immunizations caught up since we're a little behind on those right now. We got there on time and they were running behind. We had a good half-hour playing in the children's waiting area and she was in a good mood. Then we got back to the room and while she wasn't thrilled to be weighed, we did it and she checked out well.
I'd forgotten that the doctor had wanted to check her for anemia, so we went to the lab for a blood draw. That was traumatic. First they had to find a vein in her arm by checking both arms. Then the vein they tried kept rolling around and they couldn't get it. Finally, after trying to look for another good vein in her arms, I asked if we couldn't try getting it from her heel. Luckily, her heels were still soft enough, so after using a warm compress to draw the blood to her heel, they were able to prick it and squeeze out the blood they needed to do the necessary tests. Little E screamed and cried almost the entire time.
Now what would you do? My husband was watching our other children, so it would have been so easy to just take her to get her three/four more shots. Then we'd be all caught up. If I did it another day, I'd probably have to take all my children with me to the health department. It would be easier for me to do it now. She's still little, she'd be okay, right?
I decided to wait. She probably would have been fine, but why put her through more pain today, just to be convenient for me.
I think we face those kinds of decisions all of the time during our lives. Is what I want more important than what others want or need right now?
I've been thinking lately about how certain problems in our society stem from people deciding that what they want is more important than what others need or want. The first one that comes to mind is the current financial market crisis. The situation is complex, but it seems that at least part of the problems come from people choosing to get what they want instead of getting what they could actually afford. It also comes from people choosing to get what they want by encouraging others to buy what they can't afford.
Another problem is no-fault divorces. I'm not talking about people who have legitimate reasons to divorce, like, for example, abusive marriages. I'm talking about people who choose to divorce amicably because they've grown apart, fell out of love, or some other excuse to break up. It's more difficult when there are children involved because the parents don't know or choose to ignore the decades of research that show that divorce has many negative, long-term effects on everyone involved, especially the children.
Abortion, road rage, child abuse and neglect, intolerance, greed, impatience, rudeness. In fact, I think that almost all problems come from someone or some group thinking that their needs and wants are more important than someone else's. I suppose it can seem only natural. It's built into us from birth. Babies and little children are selfish, in part, to make sure they are taken care of. But, part of the process of growing up and becoming an adult is learning that you are not the most important thing on this planet. That is why we teach children things like how to share, that hurting others is wrong, and how to work together and help others.
I'm reminded of the end of the movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. (If I'm spoiling anything, I apologize, but the movie is over 25 years old. :) ) One of the main characters, Spock, gives his life to save the rest of the ship. As he is dying, he explains to his friend, Admiral Kirk, why he did it. He says, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."
I think that to change most of the problems in our lives and to find happiness, we need to stop spending so much time focusing on our personal needs and look outside of ourselves to those around us. I believe that this starts with our families since these should be the people that are the closest to us and as such we can have the most impact. After we take care of our families, we can then more easily help others around us at work, church, or in our communities because we have a place where we can rest from our other worries.
Focusing first on our families' needs can be difficult since we see them in all moods and with all their faults. However, it has been my experience that when I focus on the needs of those in my family first, they are happier, I am happier, and many of my needs are actually met. I've also noticed that for myself, I have a harder time thinking of others' needs when I'm really involved in my own interests like reading, checking my e-mail groups, or talking on the phone. I find that when I'm deeply involved in my stuff, whatever it is, and someone comes to me with a need, I'm more impatient, more easily frustrated, and ultimately dissatisfied. I'm recognizing that in order to want to think of others' needs first, I need to be more selective when I choose to do my stuff, so I'm not so distracted by my concerns.
So where is the positive in all of this? The positive is that we can change, that I can change. I don't think I'm being too selfish most of the time, but I would like to be better. I can choose to find ways to think more about others than myself. I can choose to work on my interests at times when I won't be needed to help others. I can choose to focus my energies on helping my family members rather than satisfying my desires more often. I can be happier when I do these things because I've seen it work.
I'd forgotten that the doctor had wanted to check her for anemia, so we went to the lab for a blood draw. That was traumatic. First they had to find a vein in her arm by checking both arms. Then the vein they tried kept rolling around and they couldn't get it. Finally, after trying to look for another good vein in her arms, I asked if we couldn't try getting it from her heel. Luckily, her heels were still soft enough, so after using a warm compress to draw the blood to her heel, they were able to prick it and squeeze out the blood they needed to do the necessary tests. Little E screamed and cried almost the entire time.
Now what would you do? My husband was watching our other children, so it would have been so easy to just take her to get her three/four more shots. Then we'd be all caught up. If I did it another day, I'd probably have to take all my children with me to the health department. It would be easier for me to do it now. She's still little, she'd be okay, right?
I decided to wait. She probably would have been fine, but why put her through more pain today, just to be convenient for me.
I think we face those kinds of decisions all of the time during our lives. Is what I want more important than what others want or need right now?
I've been thinking lately about how certain problems in our society stem from people deciding that what they want is more important than what others need or want. The first one that comes to mind is the current financial market crisis. The situation is complex, but it seems that at least part of the problems come from people choosing to get what they want instead of getting what they could actually afford. It also comes from people choosing to get what they want by encouraging others to buy what they can't afford.
Another problem is no-fault divorces. I'm not talking about people who have legitimate reasons to divorce, like, for example, abusive marriages. I'm talking about people who choose to divorce amicably because they've grown apart, fell out of love, or some other excuse to break up. It's more difficult when there are children involved because the parents don't know or choose to ignore the decades of research that show that divorce has many negative, long-term effects on everyone involved, especially the children.
Abortion, road rage, child abuse and neglect, intolerance, greed, impatience, rudeness. In fact, I think that almost all problems come from someone or some group thinking that their needs and wants are more important than someone else's. I suppose it can seem only natural. It's built into us from birth. Babies and little children are selfish, in part, to make sure they are taken care of. But, part of the process of growing up and becoming an adult is learning that you are not the most important thing on this planet. That is why we teach children things like how to share, that hurting others is wrong, and how to work together and help others.
I'm reminded of the end of the movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. (If I'm spoiling anything, I apologize, but the movie is over 25 years old. :) ) One of the main characters, Spock, gives his life to save the rest of the ship. As he is dying, he explains to his friend, Admiral Kirk, why he did it. He says, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."
I think that to change most of the problems in our lives and to find happiness, we need to stop spending so much time focusing on our personal needs and look outside of ourselves to those around us. I believe that this starts with our families since these should be the people that are the closest to us and as such we can have the most impact. After we take care of our families, we can then more easily help others around us at work, church, or in our communities because we have a place where we can rest from our other worries.
Focusing first on our families' needs can be difficult since we see them in all moods and with all their faults. However, it has been my experience that when I focus on the needs of those in my family first, they are happier, I am happier, and many of my needs are actually met. I've also noticed that for myself, I have a harder time thinking of others' needs when I'm really involved in my own interests like reading, checking my e-mail groups, or talking on the phone. I find that when I'm deeply involved in my stuff, whatever it is, and someone comes to me with a need, I'm more impatient, more easily frustrated, and ultimately dissatisfied. I'm recognizing that in order to want to think of others' needs first, I need to be more selective when I choose to do my stuff, so I'm not so distracted by my concerns.
So where is the positive in all of this? The positive is that we can change, that I can change. I don't think I'm being too selfish most of the time, but I would like to be better. I can choose to find ways to think more about others than myself. I can choose to work on my interests at times when I won't be needed to help others. I can choose to focus my energies on helping my family members rather than satisfying my desires more often. I can be happier when I do these things because I've seen it work.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Seeking the Positive As A Wife
I am posting a link to an article by Orson Scott Card titled, "Bad wife or just a busy one?" from mormontimes.com. I had to smile as I read it because it just sounds so familiar. Enjoy.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Things I Love About My Faith: The Plan of Salvation
Today I taught the women at my church. I haven't had the opportunity to teach adults for a while, so I enjoyed it. The lesson was on the plan of salvation as revealed through Joseph Smith. As I prepared to teach, I realized that this was one of the things I love about my faith. God has a plan for us. Not only that, but He has told us why we are here in the first place. God revealed to Moses that His work and His glory was "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39)
We are taught that we lived before we were born and that Jesus Christ was chosen as the Savior of the world as part of the plan to return us to the presence of God. We are here on this earth because we chose to accept that plan. We were given bodies to allow us to gain knowledge and experience and to have moral agency, the opportunity to choose good over evil. As we choose to follow God's plan by having faith in Jesus Christ and keeping His commandments, we will, one day, return to live in the presence of God.
If you want to understand what I'm talking about in more detail, please click here.
We are taught that we lived before we were born and that Jesus Christ was chosen as the Savior of the world as part of the plan to return us to the presence of God. We are here on this earth because we chose to accept that plan. We were given bodies to allow us to gain knowledge and experience and to have moral agency, the opportunity to choose good over evil. As we choose to follow God's plan by having faith in Jesus Christ and keeping His commandments, we will, one day, return to live in the presence of God.
If you want to understand what I'm talking about in more detail, please click here.
Why Gender Matters
I recently read a book that documents studies that show the biological and neurological differences between boys and girls and men and women. It's called, "Why Gender Matters," by Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D. He is a major advocate of same-sex schooling and there were many things I found very interesting, especially since I'm teaching both girls and boys in my family.
Did you know that girls' eyes have more cells that are best adapted to detect color and texture, whereas boys' eyes have more cells that are best adapted to detect location, direction, and speed? So when little girls draw pictures, they draw nouns like flowers, trees, and people using lots of colors and little boys draw pictures with action using fewer colors like black, blue, gray, and silver.
That's just one of the biological differences. Men and women have different brain structures. Boys and girls develop different parts of their brains at different times, so if girls are developmentally ready for reading, for example, boys may not yet be ready. I found it fascinating.
I also read Dr. Sax's subsequent book called "Boys Adrift," detailing the reasons he's found that boys and men in our generation are generally not succeeding as well as girls. These factors include our current gender-neutral educational system, video games, and endocrine disruptors.
I encourage anyone who has children, especially those who have boys, to read these books. They definitely gave me food for thought. If you want to learn more, I'll put the links to these two books below.
http://www.whygendermatters.com/
http://www.boysadrift.com/
Did you know that girls' eyes have more cells that are best adapted to detect color and texture, whereas boys' eyes have more cells that are best adapted to detect location, direction, and speed? So when little girls draw pictures, they draw nouns like flowers, trees, and people using lots of colors and little boys draw pictures with action using fewer colors like black, blue, gray, and silver.
That's just one of the biological differences. Men and women have different brain structures. Boys and girls develop different parts of their brains at different times, so if girls are developmentally ready for reading, for example, boys may not yet be ready. I found it fascinating.
I also read Dr. Sax's subsequent book called "Boys Adrift," detailing the reasons he's found that boys and men in our generation are generally not succeeding as well as girls. These factors include our current gender-neutral educational system, video games, and endocrine disruptors.
I encourage anyone who has children, especially those who have boys, to read these books. They definitely gave me food for thought. If you want to learn more, I'll put the links to these two books below.
http://www.whygendermatters.com/
http://www.boysadrift.com/
Friday, September 12, 2008
Nighttime Parenting
The other night, as I was rocking Little E back to sleep, I was thinking about parenting and babies and how grateful I was to have that time with my baby. Yes, it was late. Yes, I was tired, but I know from experience that it won't last much longer, so I chose to enjoy it.
I believe that parents are the first teachers of a child and that their example as parents has a major influence on how a child views God as a parent since He is our Heavenly Father. I also believe that if we want to develop the attributes of God and become like Him, part of that development includes how we parent our own children since He is the ultimate parenting example.
When a baby cries out and a parent stops whatever he or she is doing to care for and hold that child, I wonder if, in a small way, the child learns more how a loving Father could take care of his needs whenever he cries out in prayer. I also wonder if the parent learns in some small way how better to be more like our Father by sacrificing his or her current needs for that child.
What does this have to do with seeking the positive? Being a parent is hard work, especially at night. I get less sleep. I get to sleep, at times, in less comfortable places. I have less time to pursue my own interests. But what do I gain? I get to hold a baby in my arms and help her feel loved and secure. I get to watch my baby sleep while we rock together and relax. I get to feel her snuggle in and feel gratified that she wants to be closer to me. Of course there are times when I long for the day when my baby will sleep through the night, but I also recognize that it won't last forever. In the meantime, I hope that I'm making memories and impressions that will last a lifetime for me and my baby.
I believe that parents are the first teachers of a child and that their example as parents has a major influence on how a child views God as a parent since He is our Heavenly Father. I also believe that if we want to develop the attributes of God and become like Him, part of that development includes how we parent our own children since He is the ultimate parenting example.
When a baby cries out and a parent stops whatever he or she is doing to care for and hold that child, I wonder if, in a small way, the child learns more how a loving Father could take care of his needs whenever he cries out in prayer. I also wonder if the parent learns in some small way how better to be more like our Father by sacrificing his or her current needs for that child.
What does this have to do with seeking the positive? Being a parent is hard work, especially at night. I get less sleep. I get to sleep, at times, in less comfortable places. I have less time to pursue my own interests. But what do I gain? I get to hold a baby in my arms and help her feel loved and secure. I get to watch my baby sleep while we rock together and relax. I get to feel her snuggle in and feel gratified that she wants to be closer to me. Of course there are times when I long for the day when my baby will sleep through the night, but I also recognize that it won't last forever. In the meantime, I hope that I'm making memories and impressions that will last a lifetime for me and my baby.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Things I Love About My Faith: Respecting Other Faiths
"We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." (11th Article of Faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
One of the things I appreciate about my faith is that we are taught to respect the beliefs of others. We are taught to appreciate the eternal truths that are found in other faiths and work to build on our commonalities, not our differences with others. That's how Jesus Christ taught. He didn't rip apart the belief systems of those who were trying to do what was right and tell them they were eternally damned, but He started with what they believed that was actually true and then added more knowledge and information to help them understand His teachings.
Understanding and respecting the beliefs of others helps me see that most of us in the world are good people trying to do what we believe is right. I think it can help us see each other as brothers and sisters, children of God, and work together to make life better for everyone.
One of the things I appreciate about my faith is that we are taught to respect the beliefs of others. We are taught to appreciate the eternal truths that are found in other faiths and work to build on our commonalities, not our differences with others. That's how Jesus Christ taught. He didn't rip apart the belief systems of those who were trying to do what was right and tell them they were eternally damned, but He started with what they believed that was actually true and then added more knowledge and information to help them understand His teachings.
Understanding and respecting the beliefs of others helps me see that most of us in the world are good people trying to do what we believe is right. I think it can help us see each other as brothers and sisters, children of God, and work together to make life better for everyone.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Traveling Without My Husband
A couple of weeks ago, I had the thought to ask my husband if it would help him finish his master's thesis if I were to take the children and myself to visit my parents in another state. He thought about it and said it would, so within four days of that suggestion, I was on the road with our four children.
I am extremely grateful that we have family along the way who have been willing to let us stay with them and that the cousins are glad to play with each other. It also helps since I'm the only driver and having a place to stop means I only have to drive 4-6 hours a day instead of the whole 11-13 hours, not including stops. I'm also grateful for my parents who let us stay with them at the last minute.
We head back home in a couple of days and my main motivation will be to see my husband. We all miss him. I've learned how much I depend on his help with our children, especially at bedtime and when A has a hard time. I'm glad that God designed the family to have a mother and a father so that they could work together to raise their children and I've just grown to appreciate it more these last few days. Hooray for families!
I am extremely grateful that we have family along the way who have been willing to let us stay with them and that the cousins are glad to play with each other. It also helps since I'm the only driver and having a place to stop means I only have to drive 4-6 hours a day instead of the whole 11-13 hours, not including stops. I'm also grateful for my parents who let us stay with them at the last minute.
We head back home in a couple of days and my main motivation will be to see my husband. We all miss him. I've learned how much I depend on his help with our children, especially at bedtime and when A has a hard time. I'm glad that God designed the family to have a mother and a father so that they could work together to raise their children and I've just grown to appreciate it more these last few days. Hooray for families!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Things I Love About My Faith: I Am A Child of God
Ever since I was little, I've known that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father that knows me and loves me. We believe in our church that all people are spiritual children of God, created in God's own image. We believe that God is our spiritual Father and we, as His children, are all brothers and sisters. Because we are His children, He wants us to become like Him and so He has given us a plan while we are here on the earth where we can learn to become like Him and return to live with Him one day.
This last week, I had a friend share a thought that made me think about this concept in a different way. She said that each of us, at our most basic level, is a child of God and as such, that is how we should define ourselves. Many times, we define ourselves by our talents or achievements, our professions, or our feelings. Because we define ourselves this way, the definition of ourselves can change for good or for bad many times, even in one day.
When we, instead, define ourselves as a child of God, as a person who is related to the Creator and Designer of the universe, how else can we see ourselves except as a person who is somebody, who has great and even divine worth. If we could know that all the time, wouldn't we treat ourselves and others differently? Would we act more kindly, more generously, more charitably with those around us, but especially with ourselves?
I know that I have a Father in Heaven who knows me better than I know myself and loves me still. I love that I am a child of a real, tangible God, not some unknowable, formless spirit that pervades the universe. I love that I am made in His image and that He has provided us a way to return to live with Him again. I love that I can talk with Him through prayer and that He can answer me and help me when I need it. Isn't it great?
This last week, I had a friend share a thought that made me think about this concept in a different way. She said that each of us, at our most basic level, is a child of God and as such, that is how we should define ourselves. Many times, we define ourselves by our talents or achievements, our professions, or our feelings. Because we define ourselves this way, the definition of ourselves can change for good or for bad many times, even in one day.
When we, instead, define ourselves as a child of God, as a person who is related to the Creator and Designer of the universe, how else can we see ourselves except as a person who is somebody, who has great and even divine worth. If we could know that all the time, wouldn't we treat ourselves and others differently? Would we act more kindly, more generously, more charitably with those around us, but especially with ourselves?
I know that I have a Father in Heaven who knows me better than I know myself and loves me still. I love that I am a child of a real, tangible God, not some unknowable, formless spirit that pervades the universe. I love that I am made in His image and that He has provided us a way to return to live with Him again. I love that I can talk with Him through prayer and that He can answer me and help me when I need it. Isn't it great?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Three Cheers for Antibiotics
Okay, so this week has basically been used to recover from a case of strep throat. However, at least it wasn't as bad as when I had it last October and thankfully, I don't have mono. I am extremely grateful for all those people that took the time to play/work with mold so that my really bad sore throat would go away much quicker than in olden days. I am also grateful for my sweet husband who worked hard to let me rest, as much as one can rest with four children, while he's trying to write and finish his master's thesis.
I'm feeling much better, so we'll see if I ever get around to actually starting my series. To quote Tigger, "TTFN, ta ta for now."
I'm feeling much better, so we'll see if I ever get around to actually starting my series. To quote Tigger, "TTFN, ta ta for now."
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Things I Love About My Faith: An Introduction
A major part of how I choose to seek the positive is related to my faith as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I wanted to make a post about why I choose to be a member of my church giving a list of reasons why and explaining them. However, I realized it would take too long and I'd never post again if I waited to write it all.
Instead, I've decided to make it a series of posts taking one reason at a time and elaborating a little on each one. We'll see how it goes.
Instead, I've decided to make it a series of posts taking one reason at a time and elaborating a little on each one. We'll see how it goes.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Seeking the Positive in Food
I've been reading a fascinating book lately called, "The Taste of Sweet," by Joanne Chen. In the book, she looks at how we, as a society, view sweet things. I knew that all of us don't taste things the same, but I didn't know that there were scientists that study how we taste. I learned that there are people that are non-tasters, tasters, and super-tasters and part of what determines how strongly one tastes something can depend on how many taste buds you have in your mouth and whether you have a genetic tendency to taste a certain bitter chemical. I also learned how scientists create flavors and how the taste of strawberry in the 50's is much different than the strawberry tastes now, even the actual fruit. There's lots more, so I recommend this book to anyone that would like to read more about the science, history, and psychology of sweet foods and sugar.
One part that made me want to post about it talks about how most Americans have this love-hate relationship with sweets and food in general. We are surrounded by talk of how this food is fattening or how we need to eat more foods with anti-oxidants or omega-3's. Most of us love to eat cake and ice cream, but after we eat it, we feel guilty because we just ate junk food and swear to just eat salad for the next week to make up for it. (That might be a minor exaggeration or it may not. :) )
The author tells of a survey on health concerns and diet given in four countries, including the U.S and France and the stark difference in the answers given by the French and the Americans. The French women used words like delicious and celebration to describe ice cream and chocolate cake whereas American women used words like fattening and guilt. The author mentions the French paradox, where although the French eat rich foods, their rate of cardiovascular disease is lower than those in the U.S. She states that the lead psychologist behind the survey thinks that this guilt and fear of gaining weight may be the reason behind why many Americans eat so much and have unhealthy relationships with food. The author later wonders if part of the reason might be because the French have a more positive attitude about food.
Personally, I've never been too worried about food, though I do try to eat healthy foods most of the time. I do get worried sometimes if I eat too much or have too many sweets, but most of the time, I just try to do better next time. However, after reading this book, I have decided to keep trying to eat good foods, but not feel guilty when I don't. I have decided to try to enjoy my food more instead of just eating out of habit.
So far, I've done pretty well to taste and savor what I'm eating. I haven't remembered to do it for every meal, but I know I ate some really nice peanut butter cookies this week and enjoyed letting them melt in my mouth. My hope is as I taste my food, I will slow down and eat only what I need while still enjoying the experience. Do you want to try it with me?
One part that made me want to post about it talks about how most Americans have this love-hate relationship with sweets and food in general. We are surrounded by talk of how this food is fattening or how we need to eat more foods with anti-oxidants or omega-3's. Most of us love to eat cake and ice cream, but after we eat it, we feel guilty because we just ate junk food and swear to just eat salad for the next week to make up for it. (That might be a minor exaggeration or it may not. :) )
The author tells of a survey on health concerns and diet given in four countries, including the U.S and France and the stark difference in the answers given by the French and the Americans. The French women used words like delicious and celebration to describe ice cream and chocolate cake whereas American women used words like fattening and guilt. The author mentions the French paradox, where although the French eat rich foods, their rate of cardiovascular disease is lower than those in the U.S. She states that the lead psychologist behind the survey thinks that this guilt and fear of gaining weight may be the reason behind why many Americans eat so much and have unhealthy relationships with food. The author later wonders if part of the reason might be because the French have a more positive attitude about food.
Personally, I've never been too worried about food, though I do try to eat healthy foods most of the time. I do get worried sometimes if I eat too much or have too many sweets, but most of the time, I just try to do better next time. However, after reading this book, I have decided to keep trying to eat good foods, but not feel guilty when I don't. I have decided to try to enjoy my food more instead of just eating out of habit.
So far, I've done pretty well to taste and savor what I'm eating. I haven't remembered to do it for every meal, but I know I ate some really nice peanut butter cookies this week and enjoyed letting them melt in my mouth. My hope is as I taste my food, I will slow down and eat only what I need while still enjoying the experience. Do you want to try it with me?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Happy Thought
Today I pulled out my little sewing machine that my mother-in-law gave to me a long while ago, learned how to use it, and hemmed three pairs of jean cutoffs for summer. It was so easy and now D and I have more shorts. This is a big deal for me since sewing is not one of my regular activities, so I thought I'd share.
Go back to your regularly scheduled activities... :)
Go back to your regularly scheduled activities... :)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
You're Gonna Miss This...
A few days ago, I was in my van listening to the radio and the song, "You're Gonna Miss This," sung by Trace Adkins came on. (Yes, I am an occasional country music listener. :) ) As I pulled into my parking spot and sat listening to the end of the song, I started to think about what I would miss when we leave school one day. I looked out at the well-maintained lawns and the mountains in our backyard and thought, "I will miss this." I will also miss having a playground out my front door, though I do have days where I yearn for my own backyard. I'll miss having my husband home as often as he is. I'll miss my gas stove, especially if we can't get one wherever we go. In a way, thinking about what I'll miss helps me appreciate what I do have while we are here.
After a few days of thinking about what I'll miss after we leave graduate school, I started thinking about my baby, e, who is learning how to walk. She likes to pull herself up on anything that is available, including me. She'll grab onto my pant legs and sometimes keep holding on while I walk slowly around so she can walk with me. Sometimes it's a little frustrating when I'm trying to get stuff done and then I think, "You're gonna miss this," and I become more patient with her.
I try, as a mother, to enjoy the stages that my children are in, especially the younger ones, because I know it won't last long. I think it keeps me from wishing they were older and could do more at times because I know they will be older one day and I'll miss the things they used to do, like learning to walk or say their first words or laugh a cute baby laugh.
So my advice to myself and you is to take advantage of where you are right now. Instead of just wishing and planning for what might happen in the future, enjoy where you are right now.
(e is starting to let go more often and walking by herself. I'm gonna miss her pulling herself up holding onto my pants soon. :) )
After a few days of thinking about what I'll miss after we leave graduate school, I started thinking about my baby, e, who is learning how to walk. She likes to pull herself up on anything that is available, including me. She'll grab onto my pant legs and sometimes keep holding on while I walk slowly around so she can walk with me. Sometimes it's a little frustrating when I'm trying to get stuff done and then I think, "You're gonna miss this," and I become more patient with her.
I try, as a mother, to enjoy the stages that my children are in, especially the younger ones, because I know it won't last long. I think it keeps me from wishing they were older and could do more at times because I know they will be older one day and I'll miss the things they used to do, like learning to walk or say their first words or laugh a cute baby laugh.
So my advice to myself and you is to take advantage of where you are right now. Instead of just wishing and planning for what might happen in the future, enjoy where you are right now.
(e is starting to let go more often and walking by herself. I'm gonna miss her pulling herself up holding onto my pants soon. :) )
Friday, July 4, 2008
Happy Independence Day!
As I watched fireworks through my front room window, I realized how wonderful a country I live in. As much as I dislike the fighting and negativity of American politics, I am grateful that the fighting is mostly with words and ideas and not with guns and bombs. I'm grateful that the explosions I see and hear tonight are not because of differing ideologies, but for celebration of the birth of our great nation. So as this election season continues to drag along its dreary way, I hope to remember that at least we can disagree in our country without people dying.
God Bless America!
God Bless America!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Kindness Begins With Me
I already talked about seeking the positive in our children as parents, but what about everyone else? Your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors? The people that work at the store, the person driving next to you, your senator or congressmen, the crazy liberals, the evil conservatives, Big Oil, the list could go on and on.
We see in our society so much of name-calling, fighting, and just seeking for the worst in someone else. I know it gets tiring for me and I have to keep myself from getting sucked into the negativity, especially when it comes to politics.
So what can we do to make a difference? I've been teaching my children a song for when they start picking at each other. The key phrase of the song is "Kindness begins with me." I think we need to start with ourselves to be more kind to those around us, to give each other the benefit of the doubt, to look for the good and positive in others.
It doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice our principles. We can choose to disagree without being disagreeable or mean. We can also choose not to get offended when someone does something we disagree with. We can try to understand where others are coming from and try to find areas where we agree. We can choose to think of others as people instead of objects by considering their feelings about something instead of summarily dismissing them just because we don't agree or understand.
Will you try it with me?
We see in our society so much of name-calling, fighting, and just seeking for the worst in someone else. I know it gets tiring for me and I have to keep myself from getting sucked into the negativity, especially when it comes to politics.
So what can we do to make a difference? I've been teaching my children a song for when they start picking at each other. The key phrase of the song is "Kindness begins with me." I think we need to start with ourselves to be more kind to those around us, to give each other the benefit of the doubt, to look for the good and positive in others.
It doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice our principles. We can choose to disagree without being disagreeable or mean. We can also choose not to get offended when someone does something we disagree with. We can try to understand where others are coming from and try to find areas where we agree. We can choose to think of others as people instead of objects by considering their feelings about something instead of summarily dismissing them just because we don't agree or understand.
Will you try it with me?
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